Yesterday was a sad day for me and my little family. I had to make a very tough to decision to say goodbye to my beloved "Old Lady.". It all started when I took her to the doctor by in July. She was how do say it "Oh Large and in Charge" type of cat (she was 18lbs of love). She was old, lazy and chunky just the way I like my animals. I don't want a young, hyper cat that has to be played with-I want a lazy cat to watch movies and take naps with. She was a pro at both. She loved being the only feline in the house and I loved that I didn't have to share any of my attention with another animal-selfish yes but I knew my limits. And she loved to eat-never missing or skipping a meal unless I was gone for extended period of time.
Back to my story, I took her to the vet in July because she has stopped eating her normal amount of food. I knew something was wrong but didn't know what. I should preface this by saying we had one roommate move out and a new roommate move in. The doctor did an exam, blood work and gave her an appetite stimulant and said that she was okay. The blood work was normal, exam was fine and appetite stimulant worked. All is well right. Well then I moved to Maryland and she would eat when I would hand feed her or just sit beside her. She was definitely a social eater and liked to be around people when she ate. After the vet gave her the "A-Okay" I took her home. She seemed to be doing better and then over the course of a week or so she started going down hill.
When I took her to the vet yesterday, she said that "Old Lady" had congested heart failure and at the ripe ole age of 16 there were no guarantees or even a high percentage of recovery. It was evident that Old Lady was suffering and her quality of life was no where near where it use to be. It was truly the hardest decision I have ever had to make; and that is telling your best friend and companion that I will put aside my selfishness and let the suffering end. Gosh it sucked-there is no other way to say it but Dad was right I was glad I was there with her to wish her well to the next side.
I called told my Dad, the Mister's voicemail box and my boss (I couldn't go to work after a morning like that). I then had the incredible task of burying the Old Lady myself. I first had to go to Lowe's and buy a shovel (sad isn't it-I never needed one until then), pick a spot and start digging because it was going to pour according to the weather that day. I searched and found the perfect spot for her. How do you know where to go for something like this? No one prepares for this kind of thing. An aside-My Dad called me later that night and offered to have Old Lady FedEx'ed overnight to bury her at the family place. That was very kind and sweet of him to do but I had already done the goodbying earlier (Weird I know but caring). I read online that burying your companion offers somewhat of a sense of closure for some folks.
The Mister was at work and didn't find out until he got off work (I know I now have a way of reaching him at work-silly but only an emergency will tell you what you really need). He felt bad and spent the entire evening with me. I took him to the spot where I laid down one last time so he could "check" on her when I wasn't there. It hit me last night as the temperature dropped 20 degrees in one day that my Lovie as I sometimes called her, had never been outside before and that she might get cold-ridicious but she is still my Lovie and I still think of her in the present tense.
As I woke up this morning, I realized that Lovie wasn't there to give me my "Good Morning" meow or look over my head or share my pillow with. She won't be there for her Christmas tuna or the next time I watch movie. She won't meow at me when I get home or leave me gifts in the litter box. I was incredibly lucky to have her for 6 years. She was my companion, best friend, late night chick-flick movie watcher and most importantly my family when I moved to the DC area. It is true that a part of my heart fell apart yesterday and is still broken today. I know that in time it will heal but right now it sucks-there is no two ways around it. I will miss her beautiful blue eyes and her way of bossing me around. Mostly I will miss her comforting me.
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